Nanny in NYC

A modern day Mary Poppins

Friday, July 07, 2006

Addiction

I've always considered myself to not predisposed to addiction. Now, I've never dabbled with any truly addictive substances like heroin or cocaine (and I'm not willing to go that far to prove my point). I have, however, smoked cigarettes occasionally since I was in high school. There were times, like summers when I worked as a waitress, when I would smoke several cigarettes a day for months. But once I left the job to go back to school I never looked back and didn't even think about needing or wanting to smoke. I've always liked that smoking was an ability I had as opposed to a habit. When in the company of those who smoke, I can smoke as well if I choose to, but I've never paid for that ability with any of the adverse effects of addiction.

It seems, I've been getting a little too cocky about the differences between my abilities, my habits, and my desperate vital needs.

It has been one of those mornings. Everything went wrong. My alarm never went off, so I was rushing from jump. The train sat outside the Jay Street station for, like, ever before finally moving on to the island. Sam and Jill both were so uncooperative during breakfast that Mrs. G. threw up her hands and disappeared into her bedroom (not that I wouldn't have done the same in her place) so I was scrambling around to get us all out to the bus for camp in time. Then, after a quick trip back to the apartment to grab the diaper bag, Luke, Drew & I headed off to the S. house for our standing Friday playdate. When we got to the S.'s we found their house in disarray because of a horrible tickling accident (I'm not joking, it was a horrible tickling accident had caused the Phoebe S. to bang her head into the metal rimmed kitchen table. Her mother passed us in the lobby with Phoebe on the way to the hospital (4 stitches, and she's doing fine now). So I stayed with the youngest S. while their nanny took the middle one to his music class. By the time she got back I just was not feeling well.

So I made my excuses and packed Luke & Drew up in the stroller and headed back to the G. apartment. Once inside I tried to get the two little guys to play quietly together, but of course that didn't happen. They both wanted my attention and were going to extreme lengths to get it while my headache just got worse and worse. At one point, while on the phone with some political organization that had called to solicit money from Mr. G., Luke kept crying "Annie uppey! Annie uppey!" so I picked him up and held out the phone to him to whine loudly into. It worked, they quickly said they'd call back later (probably during dinner). But, once I was off the phone, Luke refused to go back down on the ground. He did his koala bear impression by gripping my body with both his arms and legs and not letting go. When I realized I wasn't going to be able to talk him down, I leaned over so that his little back was on the ground and yanked his little tentacles off my shoulders and waist. As he screamed at me and I yelled at him it dawned on me:

Annie has not had her COFFEE!!

I'm not one of those people who you can't talk to in the morning until they've had a caffeine infusion. I'm a happy alert morning person. I wake up early, even without an alarm clock, even on a lazy Saturday morning (not the most attractive trait, unfortunately, if you happen to be dating me--I've been told). But coffee is a natural part of my mornings usually. I've always just assumed that it was because I love coffee, not because I need coffee. I thought I could stop any time. I thought that a busy morning could be accomplished without chemical aids. I thought that I was in control of both my mind and body. I thought all of this, and I was terribly wrong.

I've rectified my caffeine deficit. I'm feeling much better. Luke has forgiven me for dumping him on his cute little ass. All is right with the world.



Technorati Tags: , , Coffee

5 Comments:

Blogger pinknest said...

WOW!! what an insane day. i'm glad the chemical aid could come to the rescue. lol!

8:17 AM  
Blogger concha said...

coffee is evil. and powerful. if you don't do your morning worship, it will fnd you in the afternoon and seek it's revenge.

7:10 PM  
Blogger icancarryallthebagsandthebabiestoo said...

When I got pregnant for the first time it was a BIG surprise.

At that time I smoked two packs of cigarettes a day, drank too much wine on a regular basis, used the occassional recreational drug (though none of the really bad stuff) and drank nothing but caffeine.

Healthy, eh?

So, when the nurse came in to tell me I was pregnant, I resolved to immediately change my lifestyle.

Here's how it went:

Cigarettes- I never had another cigarette. It sucked a little bit, but it wasn't that bad. I remember going through some withdrawl and thinking, "THIS is what all the fuss is about!"

Anything illegal- No big deal. I never even thought about it.

Wine- Again, it sucked a little bit because I would be out with all of my friends for dinner and everyone would be drinking but me. Yet, when I was not in a room of wineos I felt fine.

Caffeine- SOOOOOOOOOO HARD!!!!!! I constantly wanted a cup of coffee. I craved those little mocha starbucks drinks that they sell in grocery stores. I felt as though I needed it and it was rough. After having my daughter, you could have just hooked a Dunkin' Donuts drip to my arm and it would have been the same as my consumption rate.

8:20 PM  
Anonymous cassie said...

I found your blog through Angela's, just to let you know.

Caffeine, IMO, is the worst thing to try to break yourself of. If I don't have tea, I get the headaches too, and I usually get moody and shakey.

Glad to see your day turned out alright in the end though.

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Betti said...

(My dad immigrated from England - I've been drinking tea since I could hold a cup with two hands, so I consider myself an unofficial caffiene addition expert.)
In case you'd like to wean yourself off caffiene a bit:

I mix coffee with very watery hot chocolate - I don't feel deprived, and it is kinder to my stomach than regular coffee. Do not underestimate the power of mini-marshmallows!

8:21 AM  

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